TITLE:
A Romantic Study
SERIES:
Pretty Little Liars
AUTHOR:
Dreiser
EMAIL:
dreiser7@yahoo.com
GTALK:
dreiser7
MY
WEBSITE: http://www.dreiser.org/
CONTENT:
F/F romance. Spencer/Emily.
SUMMARY:
Spencer Hastings loves to study a variety of subjects. Her latest being romance
and Emily Fields.
DISCLAIMER:
I own nothing but my love for Aria's hats.
AUTHOR'S
NOTE: Just a short one shot. I was a bit surprised at the lack of Spencer
femslash just because Spencer is so Spencer you know? Anyway! I felt compelled
to write something after finishing the series.
A
Romantic Study
By:
Dreiser
The
day started normal enough. As normal as anything can be in Rosewood, that is.
They went to school, attended classes, ate some form of mystery casserole at
lunch, then headed over to Spencer's for a study session. No murder theories,
no texts and taunts from A, just an unusually normal day. Of course, within a
half hour, Aria was gone after being beckoned by Mr. Fitz, Emily still couldn't
manage to think of him as Ezra, and Hanna soon followed saying she needed to
meet with Caleb.
This
left Emily alone with Spencer which was precisely when her unusually normal day
promptly ended.
"I've
been having lesbian fantasies," remarked Spencer with casual aplomb. She
was lying on her back, stretched out on her bed, looking self-satisfied and
almost feline. Her expression was utterly serious as she stared at Emily who
could do nothing more than blink in response. Seeing this, Spencer continued,
"Don't you think it's funny I could tell you something like that but Paige
wouldn't even hold your hand in public?"
"We're
not exactly in public either, Spencer," said Emily, finally finding her
voice. Frowning at the dig at Paige, she asked, "What is this about,
anyway? Besides your lesbian fantasies, I mean."
"Everything
should be about my lesbian fantasies, don't you think?" drawled Spencer
with a half smirk which Emily didn't return. In fact, she was rather irritated
with herself for finding it charming. Instead of responding, Emily folded her
arms over her chest and did her best stern impression. Spencer sighed. "I
find the idea of you being with Paige repugnant."
"Gee,
thanks," said Emily, her tone of voice was sub-arctic. She didn't have any
clue where this conversation was going but she couldn't help feeling hurt about
Spencer's remark. Though she tried not to show it as she replied, "I'm
guessing we're not a part of your lesbian fantasies then."
"Paige
certainly isn't," Spencer scoffed, she was now hanging halfway off her
bed, her head upside down as she peered up at Emily who absently wondered if
blood was rushing to her head.
"You
do remember I'm not with Paige anymore?" said Emily, nudging Spencer hard
with her knee and feeling satisfied when she yelped and moved back up the bed.
"She wouldn't come out of the closet and I won't go back in so that's
that."
"I'm
aware that your romance reached an impasse but it doesn't stop you from looking
at her with a mopey expression whenever she's doing a shoddy job of pretending
to be straight and interested in Sean Ackard," said Spencer pointedly.
Rolling
her eyes upon hearing the word impasse, wondering what teenager other than
Spencer Hastings would ever use it in regular conversation, Emily muttered,
"I just don't like seeing her pretend like that. It hurts somehow."
She
felt the bed shift before Spencer touched her hand, the gesture was warm and
comforting as she entwined their fingers. "She's not your
responsibility," said Spencer softly. "You should forget about
her."
"I
should do a lot of things," said Emily sardonically. Her gaze drifted over
to Spencer who was still lying on her back, her brown eyes lidded and
affectionate, a small half-smile tugging at her lips. In moments like these,
Spencer reminded Emily of Alison but in a good way. Their personalities were
similiar, the same confidence and strength, a sort of unshakable purpose in how
they lived that was startling when you considered their age. What was the word
Paige had used? Dynamic. They were both very dynamic people but Spencer wasn't
Alison and Emily was glad for that. "I never should've fallen for
Ali."
"The
same could be said for me," replied Spencer and when Emily's eyes widened,
Spencer had a playful light in her gaze, solemn as it otherwise was. "I
think we were all a little bit in love with her, Em. How else could she manipulate
us so well?"
"Right,"
Emily released a huff of air, looking off to one side.
The
bed shifted again and somehow she knew Spencer was sitting up but she refused
to look at the other girl. She was too irritated. Her friends might have loved
Alison and looked up to her but it wasn't the same. Before Alison she only had
a vague inkling she was different but her feelings for her had been so strong
and Alison, she had known, just like she seemed to know everything and...
Her
feelings were different from Spencer's. She knew that absolutely.
Emily
was removed from these entirely cynical thoughts by Spencer resting her chin on
her shoulder. Arms wrapped lightly around her waist and Spencer's voice was in
her ear. "Once," she said slowly, "my parents were out of town
on one of their frequent reward Melissa for being perfect sabbaticals and I was
alone. Alison came for a visit and inevitably, she suggested alcohol. To this
day I don't know if I kissed her or she kissed me but there was kissing. Of
course, the next morning denial took hold. In retrospect, I'm surprised Ali
kept quiet about it. She could've used that for yet more emotional
blackmail."
"Seriously?"
asked Emily and as she turned around her eyes went wide with an honest
disbelief.
"The
seriousest," said Spencer with a tiny smirk, though she had a subdued look
of worry.
"Why
didn't you ever say anything?" Emily continued, now facing Spencer and
sitting cross legged on the bed. "I mean, you knew about my letter and how
I felt..."
"That's
why I didn't say anything," said Spencer quietly. "I wasn't lying
when I said that I think all of us were a little in love with Alison but I will
thoroughly concede our feelings never compared to yours in that capacity. Even
my own."
"But--"
Emily began and she wasn't particularly sure what she was going to say, but she
was going to say something important. Maybe even philosophical. Only she didn't
get the chance because Spencer was scooting closer and putting her index finger
on Emily's mouth to hush her as Emily did her best not to notice how soft
Spencer's skin felt against her lips.
"You
were genuinely in love with her," Spencer interrupted, her voice holding a
gentle understanding, her finger falling away from Emily's lips. "I
might've loved Ali and held a strange type of contempt and worship for her but
I never would have wanted to date her. You did, didn't you?"
"Yeah,"
whispered Emily, ducking her head and somehow feeling embarrassed to admit
that. It probably had to do with the more things they found out about Alison
and her life, the more Emily realized how very little she had actually known
her. At times Emily wondered who she was in love with back then. Alison or the
idea of Alison. She still wasn't sure. Silence reigned and Spencer studied
Emily with that analytical look she always got when she was trying to solve her
mystery of the moment. Emily couldn't help but squirm under her gaze.
"What?" she demanded.
"I
knew," said Spencer soft enough that Emily had to strain to hear her, moving
closer to her friend as she spoke. There was a hesitation in Spencer's tone
that didn't suit her at all. "I knew how you felt about Ali and I hated
how she treated you... I said something to her but," Spencer paused to
form a self-deprecating smirk, irony lacing her words, "it didn't go so
well."
"You
said something?" echoed Emily and she didn't know why she was surprised.
Spencer always had a protective streak a mile wide when it came to her friends.
Though sometimes it seemed to Emily she got special treatment in that area, far
more than Aria and Hanna. "Spence," she murmured, reaching for
Spencer's hands and smiling. "Thanks."
"Hey,"
Spencer drew the word out humorously, pushing a lock of hair from Emily's eyes.
"I live to serve."
Laughing
at this, it dawned on Emily how much of this conversation, namely all of it,
had been about her. "What about you?" asked Emily eagerly, a bright
smile on her features. "How are things going with Toby?"
"Toby,"
Spencer sighed his name more than said it and Emily frowned in response.
"Has an unfortunate lot in life. He's way too good at helping people
understand themselves which usually winds up with him getting the short
stick."
"Spence?"
asked Emily, utterly confused.
"Let's
just say my lesbian fantasies don't include Paige or Toby and leave it at
that," said Spencer wryly.
"What?
No way! We're not leaving anything," said Emily emphatically, her frown
returning as she held Spencer's hands. "We just spent how long going over
my sad love life and now you're passing the buck? Not happening."
Another
sigh and Spencer looked like she was going to reply but then her face screwed
up in a familiar look of utter determination. She moved forward in one smooth
and elegant motion, cupping Emily's face with her hands and meeting their lips
in a kiss that would've been sweet and simple except Emily opened her mouth in
surprise and Spencer seized the opportunity to deepen the kiss. It wasn't like
the innocent touch of the lips she had with Alison and it lacked the confusion
then passion of her kisses with Maya and it was nothing like the hesitant
reassurance she offered Paige. Kissing Spencer was an antithesis of emotions.
Comfortable and exciting, safe and thrilling, and Emily found herself tangling
her fingers in Spencer's hair, undoing her loose braid and pulling her closer.
She
felt Spencer smile against her lips as Emily returned the kiss whole heartedly
and her hands were warm on Emily's skin, pressing against the curve of her hip
where her jeans began, urging her backwards. They were lying down on Spencer's
bed and their kisses had become almost frantic, one leading into the other, and
Emily didn't know where this was coming from. It wasn't like she never noticed
that Spencer was attractive, it was pretty impossible not to notice that, but
she never allowed herself to think about her friends in that way after Alison.
Because of that, she never let herself conceive of something like this
happening but if she had Emily would've imagined this. Even still, she couldn't
have known it would be this good. How Spencer's lips were wonderfully soft and
pliable and ardent against her own, kissing Emily like she could never get
enough, drinking from her deeply and releasing a happy murmur when Emily
reciprocated fully.
When
they finally part for air, they're breathing heavily and Spencer looks almost
ravished, her normally immaculate hair disheveled and going every which way.
Emily smiles fondly at this, giving into her urge to straighten it and saying
in between breathes, "Where did you learn to kiss like that?"
"I
like to study, remember?" replied Spencer with a chuckle.
Forming
an 'oh' on her lips, Emily nodded her head and her fingertips trailed down
Spencer's cheek. Spencer was lying half on top of her with her left leg pressed
in between Emily's thighs. It was a position that left a pleasantly warm
sensation in her stomach and trying to ignore her nerves, Emily asked, "I
guess I was a part of your lesbian fantasies then?"
Looking
away from Emily for a long moment, the skin around her neck and face turning
red, Spencer faced Emily and said her name quietly. She moved closer, hiding in
the crook of Emily's neck, her breath tickling Emily's skin. "Being with
you is my lesbian fantasy."
Emily
didn't know what to say to that so she didn't say anything all. She entwined
her fingers in Spencer's hair and gently pulled her head upwards and when
Spencer looked into her eyes, her gaze reflecting anxiety and vulnerability,
Emily kissed her hard. Spencer soon returned her gesture enthusiastically,
groaning and opening her mouth, inviting Emily in and Emily quickly took
advantage. It was strange, all of this coming so easily and so naturally to
her, it never happened that way with Emily. There was always some obstacle to
overcome whether it was manipulation or confusion or denial but there was
always something and for the life of her Emily couldn't see any of those things
with Spencer. Though she honestly had no idea where any of this had come from
and as good as all this was it made Emily more than a bit worried. Enough that
she pulled away from Spencer, panting and trying to ignore the way Spencer's
lips were plumper than before, almost bruised from the force of their kisses.
"We
should stop," said Emily reluctant and sad, trying to make sure it didn't
sound like a rejection. She didn't want to stop but she really thought they
should. At least, she thought she should. Emily needed time to figure out what
all this meant. "For now."
"I
understand," Spencer's voice was deeper than usual, reflecting her desire,
and there wasn't any hurt or resentment in her gaze. Just the same unspoken
connection they always shared and Emily gave a relieved smile.
Of
course, their current position did little to calm her hormones. Spencer lying
on top of her and her hand resting on the flat skin of Emily's abdomen, making
Emily all too aware of how close they were. That when she took a breath her
chest rose up and moved against Spencer's and she could smell the faint scent
of Spencer's perfume. Something expensive and French.
"We
should move," offered Emily after a moment.
"We
should," agreed Spencer but she made no effort to do this.
More
moments passed and neither moved away from the other and Emily shook her head,
laughing as she shoved Spencer lightly on the shoulder. "Spence!" she
exclaimed. "Come on. We won't be able to... you know, if we're this
close."
"I
know?" said Spencer suggestively, raising an eyebrow.
"Being
this close to you isn't helping me calm down," said Emily peevishly.
"Just the opposite, in fact."
"What
if I don't want you to calm down?" asked Spencer in altogether logical
manner that made Emily groan and roll her eyes. Spencer clucked her tongue and
folded her arms on Emily's chest, resting her chin on top of them and looking
at Emily teasingly. "Just picture Jenna walking towards you, in a slinky
negligee, saying you're her new Toby."
A
horrified expression emerged on Emily's features and she released a shriek of
protest before closing her eyes out of instinct. As if doing this would erase
the image from her brain. Spencer laughed uproariously at this and Emily, her
eyes still shut, shoved Spencer again, proclaiming that she hated her. The
laughter died down and Emily felt Spencer shifting on top of her and the
whisper soft feel of Spencer's breath on her skin as she murmured, "No you
don't."
Then
Spencer gave her a kiss that was shy and tender and loving and when it ended
Spencer was off her bed and straightening her outfit. Looking over her shoulder
at a dumbfounded Emily and asking what she wanted to have for dinner.
The
next day at school Emily found herself half believing it was some sort of dream
or maybe even a lesbian fantasy, like Spencer had spoken of, but then she'd
touch her lips and she just knew it wasn't. She didn't try to call or text
Spencer when she got home other than to say she arrived safely, something they
all had a habit of doing with A lurking about, and now the lack of communication
was leading to a definite case of nerves. Did it really happen? Did Spencer
really like her in that way? Did she really like Spencer? They never confirmed
any of these things and in the light of day all these questions were
overwhelming. Especially since she currently lacked the reassurance of
Spencer's smile and touch.
Of
course, it was in the midst of her bout of insecurity when Paige rounded the
corner, hanging onto Sean's arm and smiling at him like some sort of fawning
sycophant. Snorting at this thought, Emily felt herself start to tear up
slightly because it was just the sort of brainiac SAT word that Spencer would
use in casual conversation.
And
then, like magic, Spencer appeared. Sauntering down the hallway wearing a
Sherlock Holmes styled hat and a tiny tweed jacket that looked absurdly
appropriate on her. Emily often wondered why Spencer felt compelled to dress in
outfits that were more like movie costumes than normal clothes but she couldn't
deny they looked good on her. As Spencer approached, she distantly noted that
the pipe was missing. Then again, it could always be in her pocket.
Spencer
came to a stop at Emily's locker and leaned against it, her eyes narrowing.
"You're mopey like one of the Seven Dwarves again," she stated
plainly. Looking over Emily's shoulder, Spencer continued, "Where's
Paige?"
"She
left with Sean," said Emily with a sigh, almost irritated that Spencer
knew her this well.
Releasing
a thoughtful murmur on hearing this, Spencer nodded her head and folded her arms
over her chest, eyeing Emily up and down. "Mopey isn't a good look for
you, Em," she remarked. Emily rolled her eyes and was about to reply with
a snarky comment but Spencer stepped forward and kissed her and it was just
like the last time. It was shy and tender and loving and it was as if with this
kiss, Spencer was trying to let Emily know exactly how she felt. How this just
wasn't about sex and attraction, it was about friendship and love, and it was
the first time Emily ever had all of those things with a girl. Spencer pulled
away, gazing at Emily for a long moment before forming a satisfied smile.
"There," she murmured, tucking a lock of hair behind Emily's ear, her
hand lingering on her cheek. "Much better."
In
an instant, the earlier confusion and doubt left her. Emily knew what she
wanted and maybe it was new and maybe it was a bit frightening, doing this with
one of her closest friends after everything with Alison, but she couldn't deny
wanting Spencer and she couldn't ignore that wanting her was probably the
easiest thing she had ever done. Moving forward in a flash, Emily laced her
hands into Spencer's hair, knocking her Sherlock Holmes hat askew, and kissing
her passionately. Spencer gasped in surprise and Emily almost chuckled but the
urge quickly left her as Spencer kissed her back. She wasn't sure how long they
kissed just that they were interrupted by a loud and very amused cough and Aria
saying casually, "This is new."
"Very,"
Hanna chimed in and Emily could feel herself blushing as she parted from
Spencer. "The question is: how new?"
Choosing
the method of easy retreat, Emily mimicked Spencer from the night before, and
hid her face in Spencer's neck, not entirely up for facing a round of teasing,
even as good natured as she knew it would be. "Yesterday new,"
Spencer dryly responded. "And this ends now. I don't think Emily is ready
to deal with the Spanish Inquisition about our love life yet."
Blushing
again when Spencer spoke of their love life, Emily lifted her head and looked
at Hanna and Aria who wore matching expressions of fond amusement.
"Hello," said Hanna, a mischievous smile forming on her lips.
"Hey,"
Emily replied, still blushing, but returning her friend's smile on instinct.
"Since
when do we employ torture?" asked Aria, now fixated on Spencer's Spanish
Inquisition joke.
"You
need to be nerdier and watch Monty Python," Spencer drawled.
Aria
huffed at this and turned her focus to Emily but before she could say anything
the familiar tap of Jenna and her cane sounded in the air and all conversation
stopped. Except the usual air of dread and intimidation that surrounded her
vanished the second that Emily shrieked and hid her face in Spencer's chest.
"I'll
explain later," she heard Spencer say. "She's been unwittingly
traumatized. It's mostly my fault."
Their
friends were completely confused and altogether curious and Jenna was probably
insulted but Emily couldn't find it in herself to care. Even when she looked up
and saw Paige gazing at her with a pained expression. She felt Spencer's arms
wrap around her in a loose embrace and it just felt so very right and for Emily
that was all that mattered. That and being the focus for Spencer's lesbian
fantasies.
End