TITLE: Just One Of The Wiccans

AUTHOR: Dreiser

EMAIL: dreiser0@earthlink.net

YAHOO I.D.: dreiser3

CONTENT: F/F romance. M/M romance. Hell, this fic is just loads of gay

romantic fun. lol. W/T main couple.

SUMMARY: A somewhat UberBTVS fic based off of the movie, Just One Of The Guys. That means no slaying, the cast is normal in this fic, folks. Well, as normal as anyone can be in a fic that I'm writing.

DISCLAIMER: I own nothing but my 80s movies.

AUTHOR'S NOTE: This fic wouldn't be here without Xita and Dri, who came up with it far more than I did. So much thanks to both of them!

Just One Of The Wiccans

By: Dreiser

Willow frowned as she gazed at the numbers on her screen. Something just wasn't right. One of them didn't fit correctly in the program and it was bothering her. It was definitely a big--

"Problem!"

Blinking, Willow looked up at Buffy hovering over her, a perturbed expression on her features. "What?"

"I have a problem," Buffy said dramatically, sitting next to Willow in the computer lab. "A big one."

"Aren't you supposed to be in history?" asked Willow, frowning. "You're going to get in trouble again."

"Giles is dating my Mom," Buffy waved it off. "He's not going to do anything

to me. Besides, I need your help."

"Uh huh," said Willow, studying Buffy closely. "So what's the big problem

anyway?"

"Three guys," Buffy began as she let out a huge breath. "Asked me out for

this weekend."

There was a pause of complete silence then Willow turned back to face her

computer screen and said, "I'm making my new program now. Call me when an

actual problem comes up."

"Will!" whined Buffy, clasping onto the redhead's arm. "This is a problem!

Prom is coming up and you know I'm not really happy with Riley anymore."

"Then go on a date with one of the guys who asked you out," said Willow in

tones that echoed of the word 'duh'.

Rolling her eyes, Buffy replied, "I would but they're all like Riley. Boring

with a capital B. I'm starting to get very concerned with the quality of

guys who ask me out, Will. They're all cute, sure, but they seriously lack

brains."

"I thought you didn't care about that," Willow chuckled lightly. "You always

said you just wanted a pretty face."

"I know, I know," Buffy sighed. "But I'm starting to rethink my priorities,

seeing as we're graduating soon. In the real world one needs brains, right?"

"Unless you're in a fraternity like Riley, yes," Willow nodded, wincing

slightly when Buffy punched her on the shoulder for the comment. "Ouch,"

Willow rubbed her shoulder. "That hurt. Are you working out again?"

"I'm naturally butch," said Buffy drolly. Shaking her head, she murmured, "I

really don't know what to do. You're lucky you don't have this problem."

Feeling an intense gaze bore into her, Buffy lifted her eyes and met

Willow's narrowed green eyes that clearly said she was in trouble. Laughing

nervously, Buffy was about to apologize when the computer class teacher

walked in the room, saving her from it.

"All right," Jenny announced, forming her usual slow smile. "You've all been

bothering me constantly ever since I announced the contest to win a summer

internship at Walsh Enterprises, who we all know are..."

"The top company locally for computer programming," the class chanted

together, wearing wide grins. Buffy in the meantime, just looked baffled at

this outburst.

"Bingo!" Jenny grinned. "I've looked over all the programs you've submitted

carefully and I'm happy to announce I've picked a winner for our school.

There can only be one since Walsh only has two positions open for

internships and the other goes to Pylea High."

On hearing this, the room was filled with boos and various insulting shouts

that caused their teacher to form another slow smile as she shook her head.

"Yes, yes," said Jenny. "We all know they're bad, icky, people at that

school. That's why I let you guys get away with sending them viruses. But

they still deserve a shot at getting as good as you all. Anyway," she turned

to walk back into her office. "The winner of the contest will be posted

after lunch on the main announcement board."

With that, the pretty brunette disappeared back into her office, leaving her

computer class in relative peace.

"I hope I win," said Willow quietly. Looking at Buffy, she smiled and said,

"It would be great to be able to work for an actual computer company. I

could learn so much."

"You'll win," Buffy assured. "Who in here could beat you? You've got them

all beat on years programming and talent."

"Thanks Buffy," Willow smiled softly.

"No problem," said Buffy easily as she rose to her feet. "Now I better get

out of here before someone else asks me out on a date. Three is enough for

one weekend."

"Aren't you exaggerating?" asked Willow dryly, raising an eyebrow. "I know

you're popular but--"

"Buffy?"

Together, green and hazel eyes focused on the nervous figure of a bulky and

rather dense looking football player as he shifted foot to foot.

"I was wondering," he gave a shaky smile. "Do you maybe wanna go out this

weekend?"

Closing her eyes, Buffy shook her head and muttered to herself, "Why me?"

Then she swiftly exited the room and left the football player alone with

Willow.

"Uhm," he said slowly as he looked at the redhead. "Was it something that I

said?"

For a response, Willow only sighed.

---

"That really wasn't nice, you know," Willow chastised.

She and Buffy were having lunch off campus at a local restaurant, as was

their right as High School Seniors, and Willow felt it was the perfect time

to elaborate how much she didn't like apologizing for Buffy to sensitive

jocks.

"How was I supposed to know he'd cry?" said Buffy sheepishly, looking a tad

guilty. "I'm sorry, Will, honest."

"Don't do it again," grumbled Willow, taking a bite of her pasta. Looking

past Buffy, her eyes widened in alarm.

"What?" Buffy asked, seeing the panic on her friend's face. "What is it? Is

someone else here to ask me out?"

"How did you guess," a familiar voice purred in Buffy's ear, causing a

shudder to run through her body.

Buffy turned and scowled on seeing who it was. "Anya," she stated in chilly

tones.

"That's me," Anya said, sounding pleased with herself as she plunked down in

the seat next to Buffy. She reached out to toy with the sleeve to Buffy's

shirt, only to have her hand immediately slapped away. "Ohhh, forceful,"

Anya teased, giving a naughty grin.

"Stop harassing Buffy," commanded Willow, pointing her fork at Anya. "Or I

swear I will get some of those tiny hidden cameras and record all the freaky

stuff I know you plan on doing so I can show it to the folks."

"Her parents are gone for two weeks," Anya informed Buffy, leaning close so

her breath lightly hit the blonde's neck, causing Buffy to scoot away. "Me

and my uptight cuz, all alone without companionship. I'm thinking you want

to help us out with this, am I right?"

"I wouldn't touch you if we were the only people alive," Buffy said calmly,

staring Anya right in the eye.

"I'm hurt," Anya pouted cutely, drawing back. With a sigh, she focused on

Willow with a grin. "I guess that just leaves me and you cuz," she waggled

her eyebrows. "How does that saying go? Incest is best?"

"Anya!" shrieked Willow, turning bright red as she leapt to her feet. Upon

noticing that everyone in the restaurant was now staring at them, she sat

down quickly and replied in a more subdued hiss, "Stop embarrassing me. I

swear, I think mom and dad were right... spending your childhood traveling

around Europe with Auntie did scar you."

"Not so," corrected Anya, waving her index finger back and forth, making a

tsking sound. "I prefer to think of it as a wonderful journey into my

preteen sexuality."

"When you were six you lived in a brothel in Amsterdam for eight months,"

Willow said dryly. "That was a wonderful journey?"

"Some parts of it," Anya smirked.

Groaning softly, Willow shook her head and rising to her feet she looked at

her cousin pointedly. "I'm leaving," she announced. "Try not to get arrested

before school's out."

"I don't make promises I can't keep," said Anya with a wide smile. Her hand

slowly inched up and she ran just the tips of her fingers across Buffy's arm

who turned to look at her with a murderous expression. "Later sexy."

Yanking her arm away, Buffy shuddered again as she walked out of the

restaurant with Willow. "No offense to your family or anything, Will, but

your cousin just gets creepier each time I see her," Buffy remarked. "And I

really should be used to her after five years."

"Anya's Anya," Willow shrugged. "I just try to stay out of her web of sexual

intrigue and we get along fine."

"Except for that time she tried to take nude pictures of you," reminded

Buffy, giving a snicker.

For the second time that day, Buffy was on the receiving end of a very harsh

Willow glare. One that told her most definitely she was in trouble yet

again.

---

I think I won, I think I won, I think I won.

This was the mantra that Willow repeated to herself, walking down the

hallway with Buffy at her side. In a few moments she would find out just who

Jenny had chosen for the internship at Walsh Enterprises, something she had

wanted more than anything since hearing of the contest.

She had to have won, she just had to.

"Willsterrrr!"

Stopping abruptly in her hurried walk, causing Buffy to almost crash into

the back of her, Willow looked over at her other oldest friend, Xander

Harris, who was currently being draped on by several girls. Looking

uncomfortable with this situation, Xander wound himself away from them and

dashed over to the two girls.

"The Harpies ensnared me in their claws," Xander whispered to Willow who

giggled at this.

"That bad, huh?" she asked.

"Worse," said Xander melodramatically. "I think one of them tried to touch

my family treasures and please! You know I'm not having any of that!"

"Don't worry," Buffy soothed, standing at Xander's left side, hooking her

arm in his as she patted it. "We're here to protect you from scary straight

girls."

"Hallelujah!" Xander declared, shooting his arms up in the air. "I have been

saved by the light of the Lord!"

"Right," Willow said in dry tones, taking Xander's hand in her own and

leading them down the hall. Looking back at him, she said, "Don't you think

all of your problems with scary straight girls might lesson if you just...

oh, I don't know... came out of the closet?"

Xander looked horrified at this suggestion. "Come out?" he pressed his hand

to his chest. "And face severe social ostracism and many a beatings up from

the guys who call themselves my 'friends'? I don't think so Willy the Pooh.

That's just not happening," he said firmly.

"Besides, Will," Buffy cut into the conversation, wearing a mischievous

grin. "Isn't he obvious enough already? If he came out most everyone would

just go 'durh'. Except for the dense girls who chase after him and his--"

"Oh no," Xander said, slapping his hand forcefully over Buffy's mouth to

silence her. "We're not going there."

Hazel eyes pleaded with Willow to finish her statement for her, and smiling

now, she said, "I'll do it. Your oh so mysterious girlfriend. Of which we've

never met."

"You did it," groaned Xander, letting his hand fall away from Buffy's lips.

"Why did you do it? We were having a pleasant conversation and you bring up

my beard."

"I'm sure she appreciates being called that," Willow pronounced in droll

tones.

"Honey, she appreciates me," Xander said, giving his best flirty smile which

was rather charming. "I am a catch."

"You're queer as a three dollar bill," Willow stated, rolling her eyes. "And

she has no idea. If she really exists. Part of me thinks you made her up in

a vague attempt to stave off the ravenous herd that chases after you here."

"She's real!" Xander cried in offense. "Real and hot. Really hot. I have a

hottie for a girlfriend beard, I do."

"Uh huh," said Willow skeptically. Xander was about to reply when the

redhead went running ahead quickly and stopped in front of the glass case

ahead. When Xander and Buffy caught up to her, she was staring at the

contest results with an expression of disbelief. "I lost," she said after

several seconds of silence. "To Jesse."

"How did you lose?" asked Buffy, glaring at the results, feeling both

confused and perturbed with them. "You're the best one in that class, aren't

you? Jenny said so."

"I don't know," said Willow sharply. A look of determination spread across

her features as she then said, "But I'm going to find out."

---

Sitting at the side desk in Jenny's office, Willow loaded her program onto

the spare computer. She went through it step by step and still... she didn't

understand. It was a good program. Why did it lose?

"Did you see what Buffy was wearing? I swear, she's giving Joyce and I heart

attacks. Constantly we have to hear her complain about the boys that ask her

out but she still wears those blasted outfits."

Mr. Giles, she recognized him immediately. Anybody would, he was probably

the only British person around in a thousand mile radius. Just as she

expected, what she heard next was Jenny's warm laugh. She had always loved

hearing that laugh, it was so kind and comforting, but now... well, it just

made Willow scowl.

"Honestly, Rupert, what do you expect?" Jenny replied. "Buffy's a teenage

girl. They all dress like that."

"Willow doesn't," Giles said smartly, sounding pleased with himself for

using this answer.

"Yes," Jenny agreed in smooth tones. "And she's still quite the beauty,

isn't she? I sometimes get distracted."

"You're not going to start that 'if I were younger' rubbish again, are you?"

Giles questioned. "That's what got you in trouble last time."

"And how would she find out if I did, hmm?" Jenny asked, her tones teasing

yet somehow threatening. "Are you the spy who's been snitching me out?"

"If I were, I wouldn't tell you," Giles said, his voice growing distant as

he walked out of the room. "She's far more frightening than you could ever

be."

Jenny chuckled again, causing Willow's scowl to grow deeper as the computer

teacher walked into her office and saw Willow waiting for her. Blinking with

shock, she took in the scowl the redhead wore rather warily.

"Willow?" Jenny asked hesitantly.

"Why did I lose?" asked Willow immediately, pulling no punches. "My program

was good, I know it was. So why did I lose to Jesse? You always said I was

the best."

"You are," said Jenny. Sighing deeply, she massaged her forehead and

murmured, "You're the best in the class, you always will be because you have

the most talent. But this wasn't about talent... it was about skill. Your

program just didn't show the skills I know you have." Jenny looked Willow

dead in the eye and said quietly, "To be perfectly honest, it was a

disappointment."

Reeling with shock, Willow stared at the computer screen and said in stark

tones, "I worked so hard..."

"I know," Jenny was sympathetic. "You always do. It's just, you didn't try

very hard, Willow. The winner of this contest had to have the skills, the

drive, and the creativity to make an impact with an actual company. I don't

think you can do that right now. Because as talented as you are, you're not

trying to come up with new ideas."

Willow didn't know why it was but as Jenny said this, all she could hear was

the echoing comment about her looks. Staring at her once favorite teacher

with a harsh gaze, she bit out, "I guess I just don't try enough with

anything, huh? Maybe I'm just too 'distracting' for you."

"Willow!" said Jenny with alarm, her eyes going wide. "What are you trying

to--"

"My program was good and you know it!" Willow declared, storming out of the

room. "You know I deserve that internship, not Jesse. He just won because

you don't find him nearly as pretty as me."

Alone in her office, Jenny stared at the classroom door slamming shut before

she released a huge sigh. Feeling a headache coming on, she muttered to

herself, "And today started so good, really it did."

---

Naked boy. Near naked boy. Naked girl. Near naked girl. Naked boy with

another naked boy. Near naked boy with a near naked girl. Naked girl with

another naked girl. Near naked girl with a naked boy and a naked girl.

And so on and so on.

Poster after poster, Anya lined her walls until one could no longer see the